


Lost Boys

by bloodypomegranate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Autistic!Regulus, Fluff, Heavily Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Minor OC - Freeform, alt-magical!AU, friendship to boyfriends, non-HP style werewolves, teenagers in the 70's, tw: child abuse, writer!remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodypomegranate/pseuds/bloodypomegranate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of the many summers spent by Sirius Black with his estranged Uncle Alphard on a farm at the edge of a very dark forest, the strange scared boy named Remus Lupin who ran with wolves, the even stranger friendship that blooms between them through the years and everything after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Boys

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://punk-greywaren.tumblr.com/) | [playlist](http://8tracks.com/monster-in-converse/lost-boys)
> 
>  
> 
> _Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling; all I own of this story is the plot, some minor OC's and basis of my AU._

  

 

> _"When I was young, lying in the grass_  
>  _I felt so safe in a warming bath_  
>  _Of sunlight, of sunlight_  
>  _Fast open sky could do no harm_  
>  _Like an embrace of a mother's arms, in sunlight_  
>  _With every year that came to pass_  
>  _More clouds appear until the sky went black_  
>  _And now there's no sunlight, no sunlight._  
>  _And now there's no sunlight,_  
>  _No sunlight anymore._  
>  _You disappeared with the same speed_  
>  _The idealistic things I believed_  
>  _The optimist died inside of me_  
>  _No sunlight."_  
>  –Death Cab For Cutie 'No Sunlight'

 

 

The train hummed and clicked in methodical rhythm as it raced through the countryside of rolling green fields and small quaint towns, so vastly different from the dirty streets of London. It was almost mesmerising, the thought of this summer.

Sirius of course questioned the reasoning behind his parents sending them away – he questioned everything, really, which was quite the nasty habit. The amounts of times the nuns at his inner-city boarding school had thrashed him due to speaking out of turn would be enough incentive for any rational child to change their wicked ways, but young Sirius Black had never really taken a liking to fulfilling people's expectations.

His younger brother Regulus, currently fast asleep against his dead arm, seemed to be adamant in his view that he was only here because of Sirius' behavioural issues, but deep down they both knew the truth – their parents couldn't stand the sight of them. He contemplated shaking the kid off but decided against it, not wanting to deal with an irritable little brother for the rest of the journey.

The elder boy often wondered why their parents had children in the first place, given they despised kids so much. He eventually came to the conclusion that it was probably an accident, or a misunderstanding of some kind, and despite being only eleven and therefore not having the best idea on how procreation occurred, he wasn't far from the truth.

When the train pulled up at their station, Sirius grinned wickedly, shaking his brother awake and throwing a rucksack over his scrawny shoulder. Due to the lateness of the hour, the boys found themselves alone on the platform.

"C'mon, Reg, let's go find our estranged Uncle," Sirius hummed excitedly and instead of arguing with his elder brother in the way he usually would, Regulus just nodded tiredly with a yawn and followed.

Outside the sun was setting and they spotted a tall thin man leant against a bottle-blue VW Beetle. He had dark hair and dark eyes like their mother, but without the coldness.

"Hello boys, I believe it's been a while since our last meeting," the man smiled kindly and Sirius felt slightly taken aback. When I say that Sirius new nothing of what it felt to be treated with compassion, it was no exaggeration – his life had so far lead him into believing three simple truths;

1) Never expect understanding.

2) Never expect kindness.

3) Never expect mercy.

When the children didn't answer, Alphard only sighed and opened the car door for them, "You boys look tired, we'd better be getting home. My cars a little cramped but we'll manage."

As they drove, his Uncle hummed and tapped a beat on the steering wheel as Sirius started blankly out the window wistfully.

Turning onto a rough dirt road Sirius perked up, nudging his brother awake as the Beetle came to a halt outside a small farm house with ivy growing up the walls. The garden looked over grown but not neglected with green weeds pushing up through the cracks in the path towards the bright blue front door, a few shades darker than his car.

Inside was dimly lit and smelled like dust motes and the old books that sat in little stacks throughout the space – by the sink, on the kitchen table, even by the front door. Books were crammed into every shelf, every nook and every cranny. The further he entered, the more books there were and Sirius felt his brothers eyes widen in delight.

"This way boys," Alphard lead them up the dry wooden stairs that screeched under their weight. The second floor consisted of a short hallways with three identical doors, their Uncle opened the first, "This here is for you two, across the hall is the bathroom and the last door is for the attic – I'll give you a few minutes to settle in here and then you can meet me downstairs for tea," he paused and then added as an afterthought, "this was the room of your mother and I when we were younger, well before she married a governor and forgot everything she ever knew of country life…"

Then with one last smile, he turned and marched down the stairs again.

Somehow the thought of his mother sleeping in this room put Sirius off – he couldn't imagine her young. He wondered if when she was a child her eyes were still cold, or did that come later? Is that what happened when you grew up, Sirius pondered, do you lose the warmth in your eyes?

But Alphard hadn't, so why did she? What happened to Wulburga Black in-between they days where she slept in this room to when she locked Sirius in his?

An extremely tired Regulus dumped his bags as well as himself, face first onto the closest brass bed, and so shrugging Sirius took the other. The paint on the walls was off-white like old parchment and peeling in the corners, the window curtains were another shade of pastel blue (he was noticing a theme). Under the bed were even more books, and at this point, Sirius was hardly surprised.

"Reg, c'mon, I know your tired but you still need to eat," Sirius attempted to coax his younger brother off the bed but he was already sleeping soundlessly so he sighed, "Hopeless, you are,"

With sudden nervousness he left the room – if Regulus gets in trouble for not attending dinner it's hardly his fault, however Sirius was anxious to not get on bad terms with their Uncle.

Over the years Sirius had developed a certain talent of making himself invisible. It was a necessary skill to have in his home – knowing how to shrink yourself down and make it so they barely look at you enough to notice everything that's wrong.

So when Alphard turned around to see Sirius standing behind him he let out a yell, dropping the plate of food he was carrying.

The sound of crashing brought waved of nausea to his stomach and he immediately backed away to the walls wrapping his arms around his face and sliding down the wall – but the pain he expected never came. Instead, there was a laugh.

"Oh god, you're a quiet one! Nearly gave me a heart attack you did – what're you doing down there for?" his Uncle asked, stepping forward slightly with worry in his voice. Sirius flinched and realization dawned on Alphard, "Hey look at me – you're not at home now, you're here. I ain't never raised a hand to a child and I swear I never will. It was an accident, son, no need to worry,"

Sirius was, first and foremost, relieved but also entirely confused.

"Father says only the weak don't discipline children, sir," Sirius muttered and he stood up, dusting off his jeans.

Alphard snorted, "I reckon it's pretty weak to hit somebody who can't hit back – and no offense, but your fathers a bit of a crack-pot. What my sister ever saw in him I'll never know."

One day I could hit back, Sirius didn't dare say allowed as he sat down at the table.

"I'm guessing Regulus is too tired to come down, he did doze off a bit in the car – oh well, I dropped his anyway," the man chuckled and swept the smashed plate of food into the dustpan then emptied it into the bin, "I'm not the most versatile chef being here on my own, but I bought a cooking book in town the other day so you boys wouldn't be eating stew every night for an entire summer. Honestly having you here will probably benefit me – it'll make me take care of myself better,"

Sirius nodded passively, eyeing the food hungrily.

"Good God boy, don't wait for me – eat if you're hungry!" Alphard pursed his lips and stared at his young nephew with sad eyes before coming over to sit opposite.

"Thank you, sir," he murmured.

His Uncle sighed, "In this home, I only have a few rules: you can do anything you want in the house so long as you clean any messes and don't harm anything too valuable – valuable meaning books, never hurt books; no going into the forest after nightfall and no leaving the property without telling me; and try not to disturb me while I'm writing unless it's important."

"Writing?" Sirius questioned.

Alphard furrowed his brows, "Well yes, I'm an author. Writing is what I do for a living. It's the reason I let this place go to shambles… but we're clear on the rules?"

"Yes, sir,"

The older man made a face, "And no calling me sir, Alphard is fine. I don't need the reminder of my age."

Sirius smiled to himself and begun to dig into whatever strange dish Alphard had prepared.

Things would be better here, he knew it.

 

After the initial day of finding his feet, Sirius' sights turned to the expanse of land ready and waiting for exploration. He kept it simple for the first few days, exploring the farmland that used to have an abundant crop of apple trees that'd been left to grow wild in their meticulous rows – he didn't exactly trust the apples on the tree, but hunger eventually won over and he searched for one that didn't look blotched or rotten. Thankfully there was nothing wrong with it aside from a bland, bitter taste.

Sirius was, of course, a city boy. He knew the London like the back of his hand – but the smog, it still choked him up and the bustling city people still knocked him down without so much a care. Yes, he was raised in the city, but Sirius Black was born for the country.

He liked how the grass came up to his chin in the open field and how without even knowing it he could trigger a flock of a thousand blackbirds to fly from their hiding placed and into the sky.

It was strange and exciting, and left him trudging back to Alphard's cottage when the sunset burnt the fringes of the sky and the stretched length of his shadow made the small giddy boy feel bigger than reality and so despite sore limbs and scraped hands, he would be off again next morning.

There wasn't time to question the safety of the old trees before his small hands clasped around thick trunks and hoisted himself up, further and further into the sky until the branches thinned out and wobbled dangerously beneath his weight – and that was his undoing in the end.

Of course it wasn't that dramatic, the branch where his foot rested simply snapped, a loud crack ringing as he lost balance, other branches breaking his fall as the twigs and leaves scratched at his skin in some sort of hostile pay back.

It occurred all too fast for Sirius to do anything but flail in hopes of catching onto a stable branch and suddenly, with struggling arms clinging desperately, he was hanging from a thick trunk again, heart thumping like thunder in his chest. When his mind calmed, that he realized the large stinging gash on his knee that begun to drool blood down his leg and soak into his sock.

He cursed himself and felt a wave of nausea wash over him – not out of pain, but fear for what Alphard would do when he saw the cut. Would there be a lecture? Would he ban him from the fields? Would he lock him in his room?

His parents would.

But as his arm begun straining to hold themselves, Sirius realized he'd have to either drop to the ground or push up onto the branch. He went with the former due to his inability to push himself up which didn't really help at all with his leg, but at least he was on solid ground again.

He had nothing to stop the blood flow and so in a strange hobble-limp sort of fashion, Sirius made him way towards his Uncle's home with a sense of dread in his heart.

On the doorstep he shivered at the state he was in, opening the door quietly hoping that maybe he could make it to the bathroom before anybody saw.

This, of course, was impossible as the moment Alphard saw his state; he mumbled a string of obscenities and rushed over.

"God, that's a nasty gash you got there," he examined, ushering the shell-shocked Sirius inside and grabbing a tea-towel from the bench to wipe up the blood.

"I-It's not that bad… I-Please don't ban me from outside… I didn't mean it," he stuttered uncharacteristically.

Alphard stared at him as if he were crazy, "Why would I bad you from outside? I highly doubt you meant to nearly bleed to death, it was an accident, right?"

"Of course,"

"Well then let me clean it up for you, there's dirt all in the cut," Alphard smiled encouragingly as he helped Sirius up the stairs and into the bathroom.

He lent against the bathtub as his Uncle opened up the cupboard beneath the sink and reveal, quite frankly, a ridiculous amount of medical supplies. There were bandages and Band-Aids and little bottles of pills and thick liquids that in the young boy's eyes looked as if it could cure any ailment in the world.

"Why're there so many bandages?" he asked curiously.

He smiled his usual 'I am very clever and I know things you don't know' smile which on any other adult would irritate Sirius, but when it came to Alphard all it made Sirius was want to know exactly what he was missing, "Because boys who run wild have a tendency for injury,"

Sirius didn't so much as flinch as Alphard cleaned the wound. It was almost unnatural his tolerance to pain.

When he was finished, Alphard sighed, "I will ask that maybe you stick around for the afternoon with that leg,"

Sirius nodded in acceptance, "That's okay,"

Then, taking the bloodied cloth from the floor the middle-aged man sighed, "I'm not cut out for parenting."

"I think you're doing an alright job," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Thank you, Sirius," he ruffled the boys messy hair, "Now how about you come down stairs, I was just finishing up on tea anyway. For once you don't have to eat it cold."

Sirius laughed, "Alright."

 

The next day Sirius sticks around the house for the sake of not giving his Uncle stress-induced age-lines too early on in life. He honestly forgets sometimes that Alphard was nearing his sixties and already had age-lines. Maybe it was the eyes, near-black and yet so very warm and childish. Or the mischievous smile that seemed near-permanent.

"You know Regulus, I worry I might run out of books for you to read this summer," he said one morning at breakfast while scrawling notes down in a journal.

Sirius furrowed his brows, "Alphard, this house is built of books. I wouldn't be surprised if literature lined the inside of the walls! I found books in the bread bin the other day! How could anybody possibly run out of books here?"

Regulus rolled his eyes at his elder brother's ignorance, "Maybe I could read your books, then – the ones you write,"

Their Uncle pursed his lips, "When you're older I'll force you to read them but they're not exactly suited for nine-year-olds – no offense, of course."

Sirius smiled, if there was anything he loved about Alphard is that he spoke to them as he would an adult, there was no belittling in his tone or dismissal due to a conflict of ages.

"How about we go into library today, I'm in a writing slump anyhow. Getting out of the house would benefit us all," their Uncle begun collecting the breakfast dishes.

Regulus seemed to buzz in his chair, "Can we go now?"

Sirius begun silently trying to slip away from the table but his Uncle only smirked at the boy's lack of tact, "Of course, as soon as Sirius drinks his milk,"

The eleven-year-old mad a face of disgust, "But I hate milk, it's vile!"

"Drink the milk or you're coming with us for the day," Alphard spoke sternly.

He crinkled his nose and stood defiantly, "Fine. I'm coming with you."

Regulus snorted and Alphard grinned to himself, "Good, I'll be waiting in the car…" then the two bookish ones strutted out of the kitchen feeling satisfied with themselves as Sirius glares at the glass of milk and whispers something along the lines of 'this isn't over…' to the inanimate object filled with liquid.

The road into Marlborough wasn't much different during the day than at night and yet Sirius still felt himself being mesmerised by the green hills that seemed to roll infinitely.

As the dirt road turned to cobblestone, Alphard cursed himself, "I forgot today was Sunday – its market day… oh well, we might as well have a look around anyway."

Regulus seemed a little disheartened by this while Sirius seemed to perk up, cambering out of the car excitedly.

"I have a few errands to run at the bank and pharmacy, but if you boys want to wander around the market we can meet back here in an hour," he smiled warmly and takes off his wrist watch to hand to a sick looking Regulus, "As the mature one–"

"Hey!"

"–you keep track of the time. Also, your big brother. Make sure he doesn't… die, or something," Alphard winked and Regulus managed a smile.

Sirius didn't say anything further – he knew the discomfort being in public brought his brother, and nodded along with his Uncle encouragingly.

The nine-year-old took the old wrist watch with a quick curt nod and said with a straight face, "He won't die on my watch," to which they needed another ten minutes before Sirius and Alphard stopped cackling like fools, and another few to explain to Regulus that he'd created an atrociously hilarious pun.

Later that afternoon it rained, thundering down on the cottage and in an attempt to lift the mood, Alphard brought out a deck of cards and a large jar of assorted lollies into the living room and spoke very seriously, "Now boys, I believe you're at the age where most young men should learn to play poker. I don't wish to be enforcing gender roles on you, but this is a very important matter of life and death."

"We know how to play poker, Alphard," Regulus said with furrowed brows and their Uncle let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God, I'm a terrible teacher – but if you're not too tired to play, we can use this jar of pure unadulterated sugar I won a few months ago for game chips."

Sirius attempted to use this time to get revenge on being dragged to the library for the morning, which worked quite well, until Alphard realized how great a liar the boy really was and that he almost always attempted to bluff his way out of lowly cards – "a sick sense of determination" he described it as. Meanwhile, Regulus folded whenever he wasn't entirely and completely sure he'd win. They also had a problem with eating their currency, which worked well enough until Alphard declared wrappers ineligible for play, which was a rather dirty trick.

So of course Alphard won this rounds worth of loot and the two brothers challenged him to a rematch.

This continued well into the night until they realized they no longer had enough lollies to continue playing and it was well past midnight, which resulted in all three rising late in the afternoon.

Sirius, whose knee had begun scabbing over, was egger to be in the outdoors again so with giddy anticipation he set off, but found eventually the farm wasn't enough to keep his rapid imagination entertained, and his gaze rested out the bedroom window onto the woods that stood ancient and foreboding at bottom of the hill with its twisted trees and secrets almost calling the eleven-year-old to uncover.

"What time would I have to be back if I were to explore the forest," Sirius asked warily.

Alphard cocked an eyebrow, "Back in this living room before the suns sets," Sirius smirked, it sounded like something from a story, like if he didn't get back in time his clothes would turn to rags or the big bad wolf would come and get him, "Also, I'd like you to take Reg… he needs some fresh air. All these books and time inside isn't healthy."

"Don't you find that slightly hypocritical?" Sirius questioned, not exactly taking a liking into dragging Regulus around with him for the day. It wasn't so much that he liked to solitude, it was the fact that his little brother at age nine had a pole shoved so far up his ass it choked his throat.

"I get paid to sit inside at the typewriter all day," the fifty-something-year-old spoke haughtily and Sirius groaned. It was difficult to differentiate between the larger child.

Eventually though, Sirius gave in (there may have been bribery involved but who really knows) and thudded his way up the staircase to find Regulus sitting with crossed-legs and immaculate posture on his bed.

"Please slouch a little, Reg, it'll make you seem a little more human," Sirius commented and his little brother scowled.

"Go away, Sirius. I'm reading." he muttered, eyes not darting to dart away from the page.

The elder boy raised an eyebrow, "The Complete Poetic Works of Emily Dickinson – oh yes, it sounds absolutely fascinating. A real page turner," he paused realizing this approach wouldn't work, "Personally, I'm more of a Robert Frost fan myself – Dickinson was a mad lady obsessed with death, did you know–"

He snorted but it seemed to grab his attention, "Yes, I probably do, but how do you know anything about classic American poetry? I'm surprised you know how to read… all you do is run around outside and get dirty,"

"I go to school, dumbass. Isn't Frost all about nature and experiencing life? I don't see how you can really connect properly with the poetry without going outside,"

Regulus narrowed his eyes, "What do you want?"

"Come climb trees with me?" he asked with a cheesy grin.

"…Why?"

"I worry about you Regulus–"

"–No you don't–"

"–And I feel as if we're growing apart as brothers–"

"–Uncle put you up to this, didn't he?–"

There was a pause.

"It was more of a bribe…"

The younger snorted, "If I go with you, will you leave me alone for the rest of the summer?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying?"

"Probably."

"If I don't go will you continue to irritate me for the day?"

"No."

"Are you still lying?"

"Definitely."

Regulus let out an exasperated sigh, slipping a book mark in-between the pages and mumbling, "Let's just go…"

A sense of achievement grew in Sirius' chest – he and his brother had never been conventionally close, and sometimes he envied the relationships some of his school mates had with their siblings, but at the same time he was happy with what he was given. Regulus wasn't close with anybody – he had no friends at all, not even acquaintances. He was a mute most of the time and the fact that Alphard had managed to get him to have proper conversations was a feat in itself.

So yes, they weren't close in the way most brothers were, he knew even on the days were Regulus' mind was somewhere else entirely not to take it personally, because the fact that they could argue and Regulus could engage with Sirius most days while everybody was still shut out was enough.

As Sirius marched himself down the hill looking to the dark forest with an excited wickedness dancing in his steel grey eyes, Regulus followed cautiously behind wondering what exactly he'd gotten himself into.

"The Savernake Forest is said to be one of the oldest forests in Brittan. It was first mentioned in AD 934 in the written records of Saxon King Athelstan, but the land passed into Norman ownership soon after the invasion of 1066, which would make the forest over–"

Sirius smirked, "Regulus, not that all this isn't all very interesting, but shut up."

This forest was like none either had ever seen – as Regulus has mention – it was ancient, with twisted trees bleached ashen grey by time. The stench of moss and overgrowth made the boys wrinkle their noses at first, but they quickly became accustomed. The stillness was eerie and the breeze sounded like the trees whispering to each other, as if to warn of the intruders whose feet flightily walked through the underbrush.

It wasn't long until they come to a stream of black water, and although Sirius was willing to dangerously wade through it, Regulus however, was not willing to risk his life to the current.

So instead they backtracked and Sirius decided to put his brothers climbing skills to the test. The nine-year-old struggled at first but eventually (after getting over initial fears) found himself catching his elder brother to sit up in the higher, thinner branches.

Regulus was the one to remind Sirius of the time that'd past in the end, and unwillingly he followed the younger back to the edge of the forest, but he couldn't shake the feeling the forest gave him. It made him want to brush his fingers across every tree trunk he passed because he knew there were secrets here, mysteries. He felt it in the marrow of his bones – and he wanted to uncover them all.

 

Days past and Regulus slowly stopped coming – not out of lack of enjoyment, but because he simply preferred to be alone.

Sirius didn't mind, he had been enticed by the forest. It scared him enough to still make his heart race even now and was beautiful in a way that grew on him more every day. He liked to talk to the trees as if they were friends and take off his shoes to feel the moss between his toes and eat berries straight from the wild brambles and move from tree to tree without ever touching the ground.

But in all this there was a feeling he couldn't shake, the feeling of being watched. Initially he passed if off as the usual foreboding creepiness that made his skin crawl – it wasn't always there either, but when it was it felt like an impossible itch in the mind.

Still, Sirius being Sirius wasn't satisfied by the woods on the south side of the river knowing there was more to discover, especially in the heat of the summer when the black water looked so very cool.

So skiting at the edges, wondering how exactly he'd get across without drowning himself, Sirius found an old tree on the banks that hung over the water like a dead weight and the eleven-year-old considered climbing across the trunk and flinging his body to the other side.

But then how would I get back? He pondered while analysing the ancient tree, feeling his hands along the rough trunk, dipping into the hollow his hand brushed against something synthetic and tightly wound. With a few good tugs he freed the rope that ripped up that had been carefully concealed in the twist of the tree trunk.

Eyes following its length to see the rope tied to the thick trunk that hung over the stream. It seemed well used but sturdy enough, and without really much thought, Sirius curled his body around the rope and pushed off from the bank with a shark kick.

It wasn't the most graceful of landings, but as his body thumped on the other bank he grinned deviously to himself, loosely tying it around a smaller shrub. It gave him an odd feeling, the rope, knowing that somebody else had been here before him. That it wasn't just his special place.

The thought was childish, he knew, but it made him jealous none the less.

As he walked, it became darker, despite being the middle of the day. The trees were older here, he noted, and they whispered to each other more often. The forest grew thicker, the brambles wilder, the way rage did when you were at your tether.

And then he stumbled over something nothing short of magnificent – something so very terribly secret.

The tree itself was too thick to even try and wrap his arms round – he wouldn't even get half way. Its leaves were a vibrant green and rustled with the breeze, but that really wasn't the point. Built into the tree, old and yet seeming surprisingly stable, was a rough tree house. The roof was more patches than not and moss grew between the boards, stairs curled themselves around the trunk and into the worn down home. There were ropes and pullies too, and a telescope on a platform as high as you could reach which made Sirius feel giddy.

Approaching slowly and with more caution than he'd ever had in his life, the boy felt bewildered. He grew up in the city and had never laid eyes on something more amazing.

Running a hand over the ancient bark and dubious railings, there was a sound of growling from behind him and he turned abruptly to find a fully grown wolf with russet fur.

He couldn't say anything, couldn't move as it bared its teeth and moved towards him until a voice shouted, "Sia! Stop!" and the wolf sniffed, seeming irritated.

A scrawny boy slightly shorter than Sirius with mousy hair and pale skin bounded into the clearing, he wore a loose cotton shirt with rolled up sleeves and tan shorts. There was a recurve bow slung over his back and at his hip a holster full of arrows.

The wolf flicked its eyes between the two boys and eventually decided to pad towards the other.

"I'm so sorry! Honestly, Sia's just protective of me! Please don't tell anybody!" the thin boy begun panicking.

Sirius only grinned, "You have a pet wolf?"

"She's really not my–ouch Sia– yes s-she's my pet," he smiled weakly, and Sirius noticed the thin silver scars that criss-crossed his face, "If I may ask, what're you doing… you know… at my home? Most people don't come this far into Savernake…"

"You live here? In a tree house?" the raven-haired boy gapped and automatically went to ask about his parents but bit his tongue last minute. Sirius knew better than most that parents weren't always the best subject to start a conversation with.

"Y-yeah… you're the boy from the Black house on the fringes, right?" he asked shakily.

"How'd you know that?"

The brunet looked down to his dirty bare feet, "Well I've seen you wandering around the forest for a few weeks… you're a good climber… sorry."

Sirius barked a laugh, "That's alright; I'm Sirius by the way. Sirius Black, and you are…?"

"Remus," he spoke quickly, "Remus Lupin… d-do you wanna come inside, it's going to rain soon…"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "How could you know that?"

"Can't you smell it?" he questioned in bewilderment and Sia whined as if to say 'this is pathetic'.

"No."

Remus flushed red, "Oh, well. Sorry."

"Stop apologising for things – let's see if you're right,"

"I'm always right," he spoke before thinking again and turned redder.

"Well okay Remus Lupin, but let's just see, huh?" Sirius grinned and pointed a thumb towards to staircase, "This the way up?"

"Obviously."

Sirius pursed his lips and smiled, "You're not the most social are you?"

Remus snorted and smirked, "I live in the middle of the forest – what'd you expect?"

"In all honesty, I didn't really expect anybody to be living with wolves in the middle of the forest," he shrugged and turned to climb the stairs – two steps at a time.

"I'm not just anybody," muttered Remus too low for Sirius' human ears to hear, but Sia nudged him forward.

And as if to prove the point, minutes later, the sky opened up and droplets begun pouring from the sky, hitting the hard earth.

Remus set a tin bucket under a leak and sighed feeling self-conscious, "It's not much, but its home…"

Sirius rolled his eyes – to him, this seemed like the most amazing place in the world. The two largest trunks that went straight through the single room had a hammock tied between them. There was also a small rocky table and four chairs. Shelves lined the walls, full of everything from spices to bandages to books. Actually, there were books everywhere. It was like he walked into his brother's bedroom except a million times less boring.

"Lord of the Flies… my Uncle has this book, except his cover is rip– oh this is my Uncle's book," he stated casually but Remus let the pale he was carrying clatter to the ground and Sirius jumped, "God, I don't care – that man has more books than all the libraries in the world!"

Remus breathed out a sigh of relief, "Sorry…"

"Hey man, it's okay. It must get pretty lonely out here with only–" Sia growled "–an amazingly interesting wolf to keep you company. If you want I can bring some more next time I come,"

Remus stared at him for a moment, "Next time?"

Sirius mentally cursed himself, "Uh, well, if you want me too, I mean…"

"I do," he said quickly and Sirius smiled encouragingly.

"So you've never really had a friend before?"

Remus wanted to lie, but there was no point. Something about the other boy's intense grey eyes didn't let him.

"… No."

"Me neither," he shrugged.

They spent the rest of the day lounging around, talking and waiting for the rain to stop. Sirius learnt that Remus liked to read and draw, but struggled with writing. He learned that Sia had looked after him since he was little and she was as close as family. He also learnt that he always wanted to go to school, but couldn't (Sirius didn't really understand why but when questioned, Remus shrugged and gave a lame excuse).

Remus in turn learnt that Sirius was from London and loved music more than life itself. He also learnt that Sirius had a brother who didn't like people or loud noises. He learnt that he went to boarding school and hated it with a passion. He learnt that he'd always wanted a motorbike and tattoos but if he ever got them his parents would throw him onto the streets (Remus didn't really understand but when he asked to explain, Sirius shrugged and gave a lame excuse).

And when the sun begun to sink low in the sky and the rain subsided, Sirius made his way home with a giddy on his lips.

Because things were better here, and nothing else really mattered.

 

And then he came home, and the warmth seemed to fade away, like a haze the memories drifted away replaced by his harsh reality.

Grimmauld Place was depressing in every way, shape and form. Its grey walls and dim lighting sucked the life out of your very soul, but Sirius never noticed until he came home. Until he experienced something that wasn't locked doors and yelling, before he'd never known better, but now he did and it was agonising.

And of course it only caused more trouble for him – knowing that he was worth something more than black eyes and the loneliness of a bare, grey room.

Suddenly a voice sounded on the other side of the door.

"You shouldn't provoke him like that," his brother whispered.

"I'm not you Regulus, I can't help the fact I disagree with the fact he's a right bastard…" he mumbled bitterly.

There was a sigh, "Still, you have two days left before we're back in school. Don't make it worse for yourself… please."

"Okay, Regulus, I'll try."

"Thank you," the words were barely audible, but they made a faint smile cross Sirius' lips.

Regulus didn't come back after that, he didn't expect him too either. Any progress Alphard had made in helping his reclusive brother come out of his shell had been completely undone the minute their mother's eyes fell on their 'disgustingly dishevelled' figures as they stepped onto the platform.

So alone in a room, feeling so very small against the high walls that closed in on him, he cried. The ugly sort that made your body shake and throat choke.

Sirius of course had cried before –in pity, in emptiness, in loneliness, in pain – but never like this. Never knowing that he didn't deserve this treatment, that he was worth something, that he was loved… and yet somehow now it was worse.

Before, crying had always felt numb, but now he felt as if he would break with the pain of it.

It was late when the scratching appeared at his small window – not big enough to escape out of, but big enough for the Tawney owl that was growing in persistence.

With a sigh, Sirius slid the window open, in an attempt to scare the bird away, but it had the exact opposite effect – as soon as he slid it up, it darted inside.

"Bloody hell," he hissed under his breath, cursing his luck.

The bird settled on the headboard of his bed, cleaning its feathers and eyeing Sirius expectantly, as he was just meant to know why it sat there.

It was then he noticed what was tied to its leg – a scrolled piece of paper. He'd heard of pigeons being used to carry messages but owls? He'd never come across that in any history textbook to date, but somehow he just knew what it was – who it was.

There was only one person in the whole world he knew to be that good with animals, who also had no idea how to mail a letter like a normal person.

The bird didn't flinch as he came near and begun to slowly untie the letter, however still careful not to scare it away. Unrolling the scroll, his suspicions proved correct;

 

> _29th of August, 1971_  
>  _Sirius Orion Black,_  
>  _12 Grimmauld Place,_  
>  _Islington, London,_  
>  _England._
> 
> _Dear Sirius,_
> 
> _You only left a day ago, but I guess this'll take a day or so to get to you, so I'm writing it now. Before you ask, I got the address from your Uncle's refrigerator. I think you Uncle might be going deaf, because he still hasn't noticed me sneaking into his home. Maybe he's just become accustomed to you. You're a very loud person you know… anyhow; I hope everything is okay back home with your parents and that I don't miss you before you leave for boarding school._
> 
> _Sincerely,_  
>  _Remus J. Lupin_

Sirius grinned, all tears and bruises momentarily forgotten in light of his friend letter as he immediately went to his bedside table draw, pulling out a pen and lined paper from the mess of and begun writing.

  

> _31th of August, 1971_  
>  _Sir Remus (J?) Lupin,_  
>  _Epic Treehouse,_  
>  _Ancient Forest,_  
>  _Middle of Nowhere._
> 
> _REEEEMUS!_
> 
> _you write LIKE MY GRANDFATHER all those books are rotting your brain I tell you making you use language all proper also you told be you struggled with writing which makes you a LIAR NOW like you act as if I'M SO BAD but you're the SNEAK THEIF who steals peoples FRIDGE SECRETS you also have freaky hearing so everybody seems deaf to you and I AM NOT LOUD I am ASSERTIVE however my teachers like the term IRREVERSIBLY WARPED IN THE HEAD home is like home always has been but school starts tomorrow so that's all good how is SIA?_
> 
> _SIRIUS_
> 
> _P.S. send the next letter to my school (St. Grogory's School in London)_

Rolling up the letter he took the string and tied it securely to the birds ankle, and let it loose without any idea on whether it would take itself to Remus or not and collapsed into his bed, exhausted.

He could get through the year, he could reach the next summer, so long as Remus reminded him exactly why he needed to.


End file.
